Jul 07 2008
To Defer is Divine?
I am referring to a tendency for human beings to develop, over time and by means of face-to-face interaction, stable systems of relations in which some individuals systematically exert dominance of some kind over other individuals. . . . However attached one might be to the idea of equality as a moral commitment, as a description of how human beings actually relate to one another it does a dismal job.
- Roger Gould (13)
In much of the writing and thinking about hierarchies and social dominance, too much emphasis is placed upon the dominating side of the dyad. Yes, dominance may be dramatically acquired, yet it is also granted. The primary mechanism of granting/acknowledging/maintaining dominance is the act of deference. Goffman (as paraphrased by Power) has explained that “deference is that component of activity which functions as a symbolic means by which appreciation of the recipient’s superior skill, judgment, knowledge (etc.) is conveyed to that recipient.” (14) It is not a question of who holds the door open, but who willingly walks through or even waits for the other person to take initiative. When talking, the issue is equally who holds their tongue, who nods in artificial agreement, who gives gratuitous compliments? And the list goes on.
To be religious frequently means to engage in activities and rituals that show deference to a “higher power.” A god, it is often claimed, has, if not “superior skill, judgment [and] knowledge,” it has at least the second two of the three. Because dominance can be granted, a god need not cause a person to cower before him (hypothetically speaking); people are willing to cower preemptively. (15)
When a person engages in presentation rituals he or she bows, salutes, offers a hand to shake, etc. These, according to Goffman, are “expressions of deference.” In many cases the aim is not so much to say I acknowledge I am lesser, but rather, you may rest assured that I am not going to test your status: I accept your position as you see it. “The individual makes specific attestations to recipients concerning how he regards them and how he will treat them in the on-coming interaction.” (16)
In many societies, deference is expected according to class lines and there are strict penalties for violating these behavior codes. On a more subtle level, research into the expression of emotion shows that gender and social status influences the beliefs and display rules a person has about the expression of feelings.(17) These reflect rank and hierarchical expectations. For example, it is perceived as less inappropriate in our culture for a man in a leadership position to yell in anger than a woman. Why? A loud, angry woman violates our unconscious expectations about who is to strive for and protect higher rank.
In his best-selling book about child development (of all things,) Jerome Kagan brings up the central issue of deference. “In dominance hierarchies among animals, the presence of a more dominant animal will influence the behavior of the less dominant one, even if the two never have a dispute.”(18) It seems all children come into this world primed with the ability to signal their willingness to let another have the toy, power, food, attention and what-have-you. When feeling situationally or dispositionally weak, why waste your resources and risk your health and/or precarious status by failing to wave the white flag of deference?
People frequently talk about body language – expressions of social rank aspirations and/or acceptance — but we have failed to see just how central a role it plays in our lives. It is so important that we are unconscious of it, just as we are of the every-step struggle for balance our brain resolves when we stand and walk. It is only when our innate mechanisms to defer and exert dominance fail that we tend to notice. We feel it.
Not only are we sensitive to hierarchies and the body language associated with them, we simply could not live without them. Some people may wish them away, but harmony requires stability, and stability depends ultimately on a well-acknowledged social order.
- Frans de Waal (19)
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(13) Gould, R. V. Collision of Wills: How Ambiguity About Social Rank Breeds Conflict, University of Chicago, Chicago, 2003, p.22
(14) Power, M. The Egalitarians: Human and Chimpanzee, Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, 1991, p. 173
(15) Here is study idea: Do measures of religiosity increase after events that “shake a person’s world,” causing feelings of vulnerability and lack of control? A “lower animal” would cower under such circumstances. What do humans do?
(16) Power, M. 1991, p.174
(17) Thompson, J. G., The Psychobiology of Emotion, New York: Plenum, 1988
p.336&337
(18) Kagan, J., The Nature of the Child, Basic Books, New York, 1984, p. 176
(19) de Waal, F. Our Inner Ape: A Leading Primatologist Explains Why We Are Who We Are, New York, Riverhead Books, 2005, p.59
[July hiatus automated re-post. First appeared here: http://almightyalpha.blogspot.com/2007/09/to-defer-is-divine.html]
