Oct 01 2009

Jesus Doesn’t Impress Me

Published by at 8:53 am under freethought

I believe people should feel free (and be free!) to criticize the Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch, unicorns of any color, and any god. All that this activity might hurt is people’s imaginations.  And feelings.  In the long run it may actually benefit human culture.

Yesterday was Blasphemy Day, and Damn! I was traveling and missed it. So today I will go on record with this shocking admission: Jesus doesn’t impress me.

When questioned about their non-belief by Christians, many atheists/agnostics will apologetically include a pro-Jesus statement. “No, I don’t believe in God, but I consider Jesus to be a great moral teacher and over-all groovy guy.” When I hear that I wonder what parts of the Bible these folk haven’t read or choose to actively ignore.

Considering the entirety of the sayings attributed to Jesus, I am thoroughly unimpressed with the guy. Yes, he did express a few humanistic sentiments: love thy neighbor, care for the meek. . . . But these are quite basic and I certainly expect a better reasoned and more nuanced moral stance from a philosopher.  Not just “do this” or suffer hellfire.

And then there is a whole basketful of sayings in the New Testament that stink like rotten fish. Decide for yourself if you think the following quick sample are the words of a groovy, moral teacher –

Anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
(Matthew 5:22)

Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” (Matthew 8:21-22)

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law” (Matthew 10:34)

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. (Matthew 11:25)

“That servant who knows his master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows.” (Luke 12:47)

“I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!” (Luke 12:49)

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.” (Luke 18:29-30)

“I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” (Luke 13:3)

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight. (Luke 16:15)

“Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink.” (John 6:54-56)

Does the above Jesus deserve to be granted an honorary doctorate in advanced humanity? I think not.

2 comments

2 Comments to “Jesus Doesn’t Impress Me”

  1. [...] to fall all over themselves about thinking Jesus is nonetheless an incredibly cool cat.  Andrew provides a helpful compendium of quotes from the Biblical accounts of  Jesus which make the point that Jesus does not really “deserve to be granted an honorary doctorate [...]

  2. [...] to fall all over themselves about thinking Jesus is nonetheless an incredibly cool cat.  Andrew provides a helpful compendium of quotes from the Biblical accounts of  Jesus which make the point that Jesus does not really “deserve to be granted an honorary doctorate [...]

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