Nov 09 2009
Just encountered this and I’ve got to include it. Powerful.
Some have argued that religion provides a keg of dynamite. Others say the keg is instead an innate human propensity for violence. In the second case, what is religion, a match?
I say, Kid’s — don’t play with matches. And discourage adults from handling them as well.
Nov 04 2009
As a skeptic through-and-through, how can I not question religion? It is such an important topic. And every day, simply by driving the streets of my town and reading the church marquees, I am reminded of religion’s reach and claims.
Here are two recent comics that more indirectly ask important questions about religion.
Nov 01 2009
I have a zany side, and that is why I enjoy humor such as that found over at the Onion. I also enjoy creative writing. Combine the two and the results can be amusing. At least to me. Maybe you’ll get a kick out of today’s different sort of post.
MAN ADMITS TO FACIAL PROFILING
Florida resident, avowed liberal, and amateur sociologist Andrew Bernardin has recently admitted to himself, and now the world, that he freely engages in facial profiling. His profiling extends beyond the face but stays superficially based upon appearance. Why does he do it? No, not to screen for potential terrorists, but to quickly gauge a person’s intelligence.
In this exclusive, Bernardin shares the protocol he uses to makes snap IQ judgments based upon appearance:
First, if the person is walking upright, give him or her 100 points. Which is average. Then add and subtract from there.
If the person is a man and he is wearing glasses, give him 10 points. If his glasses have lenses as thick as a English muffins, and they are smudged, one of the hinges secured with electrical tape, subtract 20 points. If the lenses are wafer-thin and the guy is pretty, he’s a newscaster. His name is Brock Stanton. Subtract 25 points.
If the person is a woman you can also look for glasses. Give ten points for glasses, though deduct ten if the lenses have a diameter larger than a baseball.
If a person, man or woman, has glasses whose lenses are scarcely bigger than his or her eyeballs, this person is highly fashionable, hence cool. Subtract five points.
For sizing up a woman’s intelligence it is important to take a look at her heels. For every half inch of heel above one inch, subtract 5 points. Then consider her make-up. For each shade on her face beyond 2, subtract 10 points. And jewelry: for every ring on each hand beyond 2, subtract 5 points.
For guys you want to subtract points for any amount of make-up as well as for each ring that is not a wedding band.
If the guy is wearing a wedding band, add 15 points. A married man spends less time hanging out with his buddies. In case you haven’t noticed, when a man is among buddies it’s impossible to get him to do anything intelligent unless you throw him a banana.
If a woman is wearing a wedding ring you do not add points. This a science and science is not sexist. A scientist realizes that if a woman is married there is something significantly wrong with her. Subtract ten points. When a woman pledges her life to a man she does not do so for intellectual reasons.
It can be more difficult to gauge the intelligence of men because many men are capable of dressing smartly without actually being smart. Usually these man are married and borrowing brain power from their spouses. Putting a nice suit on Bonzo doesn’t instantly transform him into Professor With-it. You can get fooled. In this case you’ve got to wait for the man to open his mouth before you can see if he’s got a brain in his head.
That’s why Bernardin recommends conducting your intelligence survey on a weekend. Saturday is best. On Sunday any doofus can dress up and pretend to be something they’re not.
But on Saturday people tend to let it all hang out. And when letting it all hang out they let their true selves out of the bag. And it’s often not a pretty sight.
On Saturdays many men wear t-shirts and the nature of the t-shirt is a transparent reflection of intelligence.
Here are a few things to look for: 1.) if the t-shirt has has a university logo on it, give 5 points; 2) if the t-shirt has simple artwork on it, add 10 points; 3) if the t-shirt has the brand name or logo of an apparel company modestly presented, do not add or subtract any points. 4) if the t-shirt shows allegiance to a sports team, subtract 5 points if it is baseball, 6 points if it is football, 7 points if it is basketball, and 15 points if it is hockey. 4) if the t-shirt has any profanity on it, subtract 20 points. and 5) if the shirt has a confederate flag on it, subtract 30 points.
And there you have it. The Bernardin protocol for engaging in facial profiling.
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P.S. Sociologist Bernardin would like to add this disclaimer: When measuring other people’s intelligence by their looks you often wind up measuring nothing more than your own prejudice. And prejudice is something you deduct from your own I.Q.
Oct 28 2009
This new episode of Mr. Deity is my favorite to date. Well done.
Oct 13 2009
As I try to highlight in this blog, there are not two distinct categories of science and not-science. Instead, there is the best science on one end of a spectrum, and absolutely not science, or nonsense, on the other. In between there is a whole range. Pseudoscience, weaker science, stronger science, etc.
One element that determines where on the spectrum a type of science or individual study finding deserves to be placed is the quality of data used. Because surveys generally generate weak data, any research that relies upon it cannot be viewed as strongly scientific. A recent news parody found over at the Onion illustrates why — in a way that made me laugh out loud. All you need is the title to understand. Enjoy.
Majority Of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report
Oct 07 2009
Public (Dis)Service Announcement:
Put down that apple! It is loaded with chemicals. You don’t want to eat chemicals, do you?!
First, apples are virtually loaded with dihydrogen monoxide. Consume too much of that stuff, and it will kill you. Oh, yes, there have been documented cases. (Go ahead and shower in it, but consume with care!!!!)
Second, apples contain over ten types of acids, from palmitic acid to salicylic acid and beyond. [source] Should you really bite into a buffet of acids?
Third, recent research has found that apples — organic even! — and other natural foods are higher in disease-causing phthalates than highly-processed “junk” foods.
As a matter of fact, consumers who eat naturally and healthily and try to keep the chemical additives in their food to a minimum might even be ingesting more phthalates on a daily basis than those who do not worry about their diet at all.
Can we trust our health to these dangerous, natural foods?!
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My tongue-in-cheek point? Don’t get caught up in the “natural” vs. non hysteria. Look deeper. Besides, hysteria causes worry. And worry is stressful. It could kill you!
Oct 06 2009
We interrupt this work day with an opportunity to chuckle, chortle, cackle, guffaw, or just simply smile. These couple of the Onion titles are gems:
Struggling Cleveland Zoo Hosts All-You-Can-Eat Penguin Fundraiser
World Bank Offers Indonesia Totally Free Checking
Oh man. Would life be worth living without humor? It certainly wouldn’t be as enjoyable.
Oct 02 2009
Kudos to the Onion’s headline/title writers. They are frequently works of art. Almost like Haiku — with few words they suggest so much.
The latest one to tickle my funny bone reads -
“Woman Who ‘Loves Brazil’ Has Only Seen Four Square Miles Of It.”
What a wacky mirror they place before American culture.
Sep 29 2009
[Still in travel mode -- and so I offer something I wrote a few years ago, but never posted/published.]
The first time I encountered a UFO, I was fourteen years old. It came whizzing toward me fast and low and hit me in the knee. The collision with my knee brought the unidentified flying object to a dead halt. Unidentified it was no longer. I’m sad to report that it was not a Roswell weather balloon. That wouldn’t have hurt as much. When the tears cleared from my eyes, I discovered I had been struck by a Dr. Scholl’s wooden clog, size 7. It was my sister’s. The left shoe had been propelled at me by my younger brother, with whom I had been fighting.
My knee was bruised for weeks. UFOs can really be dangerous.
The second time I encountered a UFO I was on a backpacking trip in the mountains of Vermont. A friend of mine, Walt, and I were making our way along a soggy trail, deep in the forest. The trees were dripping, and the stones that punctuated the trail were damp and slippery. Walt had recently taken up the hobby of moss and fungi identification. As we walked he kept his eye out for new species.
Sep 18 2009
XKCD is one of my favorite comics. The content is frequently “outside the box.” Of course, I only know what’s inside the box, so maybe the content has merely impaled the corrugation.
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